Baby sex: having a preference is natural

Baby sex: having a preference is natural

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You plan to have a baby or have just learned about your pregnancy, and already you imagine a face, a character that corresponds to a girl or a boy. Normal: a child is a human being ... he is necessarily sexed.

For some women, girl or boy, whatever ... whatever! You can declare that you do not care. And yet, the features under which you imagine it are probably leaning swing on one side or another. Or perhaps you are, on the contrary, those who absolutely want a girl ... or a boy. Why such a strong desire?

"I am" able "to make a boy!"

  • Studies show that a large majority of women who are expecting their first child say at the beginning of their pregnancy: "I think I'm going to have a boy." Just an intuition that, without being revealing, is not neutral! Nicole Guédeney, a child psychiatrist, wonders if this desire for a son does not correspond to a need to feel "complete": a woman who carries a boy in her womb has both sexes at the same time.
  • These future mothers may also experience a kind of unconscious anguish about their total dependence on being a baby with their own mother. They think that with a boy, the risk is less of having a fusional relationship. A son will bring them a larger opening to the outside.
  • To desire a boy, it can also be to want to prove that one is "capable", to make a boy: a being different from oneself.
  • For still others, the boy remains valued because it is he who will transmit the name.

"I want a girl!"

  • Women today have a much better image of themselves in society. They have as much chance of succeeding professionally ... and succeeding - in short - their lives as men. Today, one can dream for his daughter of an enviable destiny.
  • This is probably part of the reason why more and more women say they want girls. Especially since the idea, ingrained, that a girl is closer to her mother than a boy is far from being an idea. It suffices, says Monique Bydlowski, psychoanalyst, to see how pregnancy and childbirth are the occasion for bringing together the young mother and her own mother. To have a daughter is filiation, it is as if some cho-circulated "from belly to belly".
  • Nicole Guédeney, for her part, has a very close feeling: a woman who absolutely desires a girl is a woman who has had a strong relationship with her mother. That's not to say that she got on very well with her, but their love affair was intense enough that she felt both the ability and the desire to pass on all the necessary a girl.

"I do not want to ..."

  • Absolutely refusing a sex is part of a personal story. Far from expressing a rejection, this refusal is a message of love for the baby to come. It is to protect your baby that you express your preference.
  • If you do not want a boy, you certainly have very legitimate reasons. Maybe related to your way of being proud and happy (or not) to be a woman? Little girl, did you feel like a "failed" boy or did your parents seem to prefer your brothers? They have "abused" you, as do boys and girls often do? You may also fear that you will give birth to this little boy, feel an unconscious fear of being aggressive with him. But this same situation may very well have the exact opposite effect and make you want to have a boy to find you in this little boy ...

"Why am I so determined?"

  • The die is cast. You are pregnant and do not yet know the sex of your future baby, but the mere idea of ​​having a boy is unbearable. Why ? Ask yourself the question. If you can not understand this imperative need to have a daughter, a psychotherapist can help you see clearly. Because when your baby is born, if it's a boy, you have to adapt!

Isabelle Gravillon

And you, do you have a preference? Our survey

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> How to handle the disappointment at the announcement of the baby's sex

> What signs for baby sex?

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> Girl or boy: a question of chromosomes

Baby sex: our file